Searching for the White Rabbit

Dad just told me Madison doesnt have long left. I mean, i knew that but it just kicks it in that much harder when i hear it out loud. I dont know how to deal with this. I dont know what to do. I'm sure my tears should have dried up by now but they just keep flowing like some never-ending river. Life is just not fair, i would rather it was me a million times over, i cant bear to see her like this. She lost her sight tonight. My own baby cant even see my face. Will she remember me? I cant even look into her eyes and see that same beautiful little girl that was there a few weeks ago, its just blank. Shes so frightened. I'm so frightened. I cant even tell her whats going on, she doesnt understand. And i cant know what shes thinking or what she wants. How fucking cruel is this world. What did i do to deserve this unbearable pain? I dont fucking care if this sounds like some pity party, no one knows what im going through and if you do, help me. I cant bear the thought of her being somewhere without me. And me being without her. We are a pair, two halves of one heart. A heart cant keep beating if its not whole. I know its selfish but i need her, she cant leave me. I need her to be near me and keep me going. What is there to live for without my little girl?